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Military spouses are told to be “resilient”. In fact, the word is bandied around and thrown at us so much, it could be interchangeable with “military spouse”. But what does it mean to be “resilient”? And why do milspouses so often have to work independently, and figure out things on their own, to get to that “coveted” place? You shouldn’t have to. And neither should “resilience” be the hill upon which you make your final stand. More Than a Mrs. hopes not only to entertain you, but to give you a platform, to teach you how to pour into yourself, and to supply you with the answers and resources you need – not only to thrive, but to excel. It’s our time.
A Message from Mrs. “More Than a Mrs.”, Jennifer Brantley
“Who am I?” is a question I’ve considered at various points in my life – but especially since my husband joined the military. The feelings I express may sound familiar. If you’re new to military spouse life, there’s “Who am I?” plus an added question – “Where in the world do I start?”
I’m a milspouse (military spouse), yes. But I’m more than that. Whether it’s a career, a home (or relinquishing the ability to live with your spouse in order to hold on to those things), stability or something else, military spouses give something up every day. That’s why “dependent” (when said in a snarky way) and other military spouse monikers are not words I give power or energy to. They simply do not define who I am.
What I am, is a real person – a sister, a daughter, a friend. I’m a human who dons her pants one leg at a time just like everyone else (well, most people) and favors the sock, sock, shoe, shoe method when getting dressed in the morning. I can be sarcastic, I like to laugh, sometimes I cry and, like so many of you, am comprised of so many layers even I don’t know them all.
I’ll confess, though, that when I found out my husband (then fiancé) was pursuing a military career, I was devastated, unaccepting, you name it. I was a hard sell, ok? My life as I knew it would be completely uprooted. My life would be uprooted because there was no way I WASN’T (after years of refusing to follow a man ANYWHERE) going to follow my husband.
I planned to follow him to the ends of the earth. I also knew that if following him was my plan, I’d also have to plan to adapt to change.
In many ways, I was right. Life has changed. I’ve also found that I’m not as averse to change as I thought. Changes are, however, exactly what you make them. (Tip No. 1 (a cliche): “Bloom where you’re planted“)
The things I experience/have experienced may not be unique, but they have helped me realize that the terms “military spouse” or “dependent” don’t define who I am. I don’t have to own the titles other people give me.
Neither do you.
We can create our own narrative and be no less proud of our active duty service member.
This site is for you – milspouse. Welcome, to More Than a Mrs.