Are you who you want to be? Are you who you would be? I’m not…yet.
Welcome to our first post of 2020 (it’s already February. I’ll do better, I promise)! Let me preface this post by telling you that January has been a heck of a year – I mean month. We started off so strong but ended the month with personal loss, spiritual attacks, financial strain, health concerns and more. Yet, God is and remains so good.
A Different Approach.
As you read this post, you may notice it has a markedly different tone than previous posts on www.morethanamrs.com. Here’s why:
More than a Mrs. is heading into its third year and I realize I haven’t yet really addressed the fact that I’m a chaplain/preacher’s wife (my husband was ordained well before he joined the Air Force). The premise of More than a Mrs. has always been to focus on the military spouse as an individual, irrespective of your spouses’ position as a member of the military.
But the truth is that, even in the civilian world, being a preacher’s wife and, even more importantly, a Christian, is significant. It’s an integral part of who I am and, in this day and time, when our world is being plagued and assailed by so many different issues, it’s more important than ever that I cultivate my own light and allow it to shine.
Perhaps what I share in these moments, moments when God won’t allow me to write what I want and compels me to speak on a more personal level, can serve as a beacon of help and hope for someone out there in the ether of the Internet world. Maybe…just maybe, that someone is you.
The Preacher’s Wife.
Ten years ago, I never would have envisioned that I’d be a preacher’s wife – despite having been raised in the church and being the great granddaughter, granddaughter and niece of pastors, and the daughter of a minister of music. Now, I couldn’t imagine a different life. As I write this, I laugh – primarily because I’m far from perfect and would never claim to be, and I’m the first to point out my imperfection when speaking with others. *insert Kanye shrug* (See, not perfect, lol).
If you follow me on social media, you know my husband recently swore me in as a government employee (Disclaimer: all of the opinions shared on this site are my own and are not endorsed by the federal government). Working on a military installation, surrounded primarily by young, opinionated airmen and civilians in various stages of life has presented its challenges but, more recently, has also afforded me the opportunity to bear witness and clear up a few misconceptions about God, His mercy and the Bible.
In turn, my interactions with members of the military, civilians like myself, and even members of the parish have led me to more closely examine who I am and how I live my own life.
An exchange this past weekend with co-workers really brought this self-reflection to the forefront of my mind.
I exited that conversation with questions of my own echoing in my head – Am I who I desire to be? Am I someone that others will look at and perceive to be a light?
Upon a cursory examination, I was sorely disappointed in myself. But even with this realization, I still didn’t give the questions the time they truly deserved. God took care of that (as He usually does). There’s no ignoring God nor a conviction he places in your heart.
Things came full circle last night, when I opened my guided journal.
The prompt I turned to today asked, “What kind of person do you want to become?” It’s an interesting question because Matt and I are reading through Proverbs together which, I think, serves as a good template. I scribbled notes as Matt read aloud tonight, starting at Ch. 16 and ending at Ch. 18.
Here’s what I’ve added to my prayer list of “becoming” as a result of that study:
• I want to be humble. “Pride goes before destruction and haughtiness before a fall”
•I want to be a person who trusts in the Lord and seeks joy vs. temporary happiness. “Trust the lord and be joyful” • I want to speak (and think) only kind words. “Kind words are like honey sweet to the soul and health to the body”
•I want to be in control of myself so that no one can incite me to act out of character. “Better to have self control than to conquer a city”
•I want to be generous with forgiveness. “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven”
• I want to wish even the most difficult people well, no matter how they treat me. “If you repay good with evil, evil will never leave your house”
•I want to know when to speak and when to be silent. “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent”
•I want to listen to understand and not to one-up someone. “A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in airing his opinions.” Proverbs 18:2
What do you think of this list? Who do you desire to be?